Tzedek Tzedek Ahhhhhhhh

(A Rosh Hashana Sermon)

by Talia Cooper

5770

Seven years ago as a high school senior I stood before this congregation and told you I was working on overcoming fear. Check! Just kidding, as a 24 year old I’ve still got lots to learn about going after dreams full force and fearless but these days I am feeling more grounded than ever before.

Being raised in Kehilla, we grew up with social justice as a core value. Seeking justice never felt like something we did as a side hobby, but rather an intrinsic part of us as Jews. Thank you all for cultivating this essential part of us.

Tzedek Tzedek Tirdof, justice justice you shall pursue. In many Jewish and secular activist communities I feel that this word “pursue” has too much of an urgency to it, like Do It, Do It NOW! We who believe in freedom cannot rest until it comes!

Not rest? Not rest? I feel this intensity in Kehilla-- The wear yourself to the bone activism. The judgmental about who can do it more activism. This kind of attitude is no longer where I’m at. All the love and Jewish background Kehilla has given me over the years has helped me to arrive at this conclusion: We’re a people with resting built into our weekly schedule! We’re a people who might not have survived thousands of years of persecution had we not taken that time to rest and reflect and mourn and heartbreak and celebrate and heal. So what is it if not urgent pursuance? Justice Justice you shall envelope? Justice Justice you shall hold in your heart? Justice Justice you shall embrace?

I had a dance teacher once who gave us a different kind of direction for doing sit-ups. It wasn’t an intense movement, a jolting movement, a straining of the muscles to go up, followed by a thankful release.  She had us hold out our arms, like we were ready for a wide hug. “Ahhhhh” and we slowly rose into that hug, and then “ahhhh” back down. It worked the muscles, yes, but with that attitude it had a blissful, restful underlining. So….Justice Justice you shall “ahhhh”? A relaxation into Justice?

I need allies in this ease-filled approach to the revolution. I feel the weight of the Jewish community on my shoulders, have felt this way….probably since I was about 6 years old. I have held it, awkwardly, uneasily, felt ready to fail and disappoint my community at the slightest misstep. I have been asked to do a lot for Kehilla over the years and sometimes it feels flattering. But other times I have to wonder- are my best interests being considered here? Am I being thought about as a whole person? It doesn’t always feel like I am, but rather that there is an urgency from the older generations that they want to put on me. Because I’m young and cool and fab and I show up at Kehilla. Oh, and the rabbi’s daughter thing. But I have a really important message for all of you: I am not going to save the Jewish community. Neither is Rachel. We’re just not. We are full humans.

In the overused story of Tikkun Olam, G-d’s essence is shattered into all these pieces of light and it is our job to repair the world, restore the light into whole vessels. Similarly there is Tikkun Hanefesh- healing your soul. In some ways I feel like this, like there are all these shards of myself, thousands of little Talias. The shard that is fiercely radical, that wants to spend all eight minutes telling Kehilla why as the next generation we need gender neutral bathrooms at all events, why we need to have more anti-racist understanding in our community. There is the spiritual Talia who wants to tell you about the shivers and tingles I feel when I open my mouth to belt out a Jewish song, the grounding I feel when I repeat to myself these Hebrew letters in tune with my breath yud heeeey vav heeeeey, the sense of calm that comes with lighting shabbos candles. The part of me that just wants to endlessly tell you all about JYCA –Jewish Youth for Community Action- how it presented Rachel and I with a new kind of being Jewish full of cool teens who could support me free from the constraints of high school, help me challenge norms and feel safe as I questioned my identity and sought justice. I want to brag about all of the amazing things current JYCA youth have taught me about cuddling as a contact sport, about deep active listening.  I want to tell you about the Talia who is a complete and total goofball, who feels a little bit diva these days, who got hot red nails with gold glitter for her 24th birthday and danced the night away. How can I present to you the full me where I am more than just these pieces: rabbis’ daughter, cantor’s daughter, activist, JYCA director, singer, sermon giver, young adult…. I want to be held—all of me without objectification.

My dad likes to joke that each generation of parents gets better, or it does in our family. Because we each get to choose what to keep, what to throw out and what to reinvent.

In Renewal we often sample from other traditions. As Jews it is a matter of our integrity that we examine this practice and approach with respect. I can understand my own discomfort when non-Jews dabble in Kabbalah or other little pieces of my spirituality without any background knowledge of the whole picture of us as Jews, as a people who have survived, who have held onto our customs, who have passed on songs throughout generations… and then suddenly along comes Madonna who wants to sell Kaballah water. Can we hold true respect while borrowing from other cultures? How do we grapple with these issues especially when we can’t make assumptions about all the cultures we represent? I don’t have the answers but it’d be nice to talk about it more.

What I really want for myself and for the next generation is to feel a sense of belonging. I want JYCA to know I don’t buy into the bullshit of “good Jew” “bad Jew” “better Jew”  “worse Jew.” Not for a second. You feel Jewish, so you get to have this community. At JYCA we know that we deserve to be close with each other as Jews, no matter where we are coming from. That we can all find what we are looking for within our own community.

So what kind of Jewish Community do I want to go after?

I want it to feel powerful, like lungs full of breath, like sharp piercing notes, like the inexplicable feeling that my voice is more beautiful when I sing in Hebrew or Yiddish. I want fingers locked in your fingers Judaism. I want the Tzedek Tzedek “aahhh” Jewish community. I want the fully belly laughs, hips shaking down, spine lengthening up Jewish community. I want the late boogie nights and the breathless early morning nauseating sunrise peeking Judaism. I want the rhythm.  I want the Jews who want their Judaism, who have always wanted it and who have never wanted it before. The G-d lovers, wrestlers and the ones sick of this G-d language anyway. I want the ritual- kneading challah dough on Fridays while listening to Dar Williams (As cool as I am I thought you’d know this already), the lighting candles with Jews all around the world Anatefka style, the cleansing of chametz, hunger hunger hunger on a fast day, how long does this last day, how many other Jews are casting bread crumbs and longing and craving in community with me right now? I want the standing strong Judaism, roots shooting right through me and back and back. And I want the poke fun at all these hippi Jews Judaism.

The other day I was feeling sunk, and Rachel told me, You can feel sunk for a while, and meanwhile I’ll be buoyant. I love that. My community that holds buoyancy so when I feel sunk I know soon enough I can float my way up. I want that, that buoyant Judaism, floating, rocking, flexible thinking, stretching growing, tidal pulling in and out Judaism, when this makes sense now and when this makes sense then. I want the Havdallah endless campfires Judaism, our voices braiding together like the end of the week candle, like smoke rivering up to a forever sky as big as my Jewish life.

Shana Tova.

A Sermon for Rosh Hashanah Day

by Rachel Stone

In Avi’s sermon last night, he clarified that he was not speaking for all 55 year olds. Talia and I would like to make a similar caviat. We are not speaking for all 20-somethings.

We are speaking for all 55 year olds.

Growing up in Kehilla, We have always known that Judaism was ours. I am so grateful that I never had to “discover” that I could find meaning in Judaism and a home in Jewish community. I also knew that my Judaism is no more or less legitimate than any one else's.

It was however, a rather rude awakening, to discover other forms of Judaism when I left the Bay Area - Sexism? So much Hebrew. Male Cantors. 3 Services a day - on weekdays?! I remember the day I discovered that not everyone defines mitzvot as “Holy opportunities to wrestle with G-d.”

My new friends at Wesleyan were on their own Jewish journeys, discovering the very same progressive Jewish voices that had shaped my Judaism. But I didn’t know enough about Jewish tradition to understand my own place in it. I had to go outside of Renewal to find the tools I needed - to be the Renewal Jew that I am.

One such exploration was through a community called Jews in the Woods - a bunch of college students planning Shabbat Weekend Retreats over a yahoo list-serve. No elected positions, no permanent membership. Just a list-serve. Committed to pluralism and spanning all denominations, we had a lot to work out. I remember long emails about how to weigh the competing ideologies of halacha (Jewish Law) and egalitarianism. I loved the deep and diverse Jewish experiences we shared those weekends. And one of my favorite thing about JITW is that it had the capacity to die. As it grew, the group consciously decided to not become an organization and self-perpetuate. When interest and energy were lacking, it did not get caught up in sustaining the project for the sake of the project.

Now, a word of warning, I’m about to generalize.
To me, Jews in the Woods is emblematic of many of the gifts I feel my generation has to offer.  Underlying these gifts is a new experience of identity. Influenced by post modernism, we tend to see identity as shifting, intersecting and flexible.
My mother says we got this from the generation who built Kehilla. She may be right. We may assume that Baby Boomers don’t understand us even when they do. But there are definitely ways we are driven to Do Judaism that are different from Baby Boomer Renewalists. So I’m just gonna tell you what my generation of Jewishly engaged progressive Jews feels like to me.

This flexible understanding of identity influences every aspect I can think of. It shapes our understanding of sexuality, gender and race, queerness, feminism and anti-racism.
A specific example is the shift from gay to queer and awareness about the T for Transgender in the LGBTQ acronym. We hear that Kehilla is working on getting gender neutral bathrooms. This will make a big difference in how I feel about inviting friends to Kehilla.

We also seem to value transparency and organic community processes. We tend to be ambivalent about hierarchy and institutions. In my experience, we have a looser relationship to denomination and therefore more access to pluralism. We do not find it necessary to stray quite so far from tradition as progressives of the previous generation. We do not need tradition to have authority - but we want it’s voice present and grounding. 

Kehilla has done an amazing job negotiating politics and tradition. But I also enjoy the process of this negotiation, and the creative solutions required. As were the generations before us, we are fiercely committed to making this world our own. A certain davening style has emerged among my peers that differs from that usually found at Kehilla.  And we are organizing our Jewish life in new ways too. Many of the leaders of Jews in the Woods are now lay leaders in Independent Minyanim - prayer communities not based on a synagogue or Havurah model.

So what does this all mean for young Jews in Kehilla and Kehilla’s multi-generational future. I wish I knew.

But first,
There is another big factor in play for me when discussing young adults in Jewish Community. As a Jew in her 20s, I am of particular interest to Jewish Institutions. Upon leaving Kehilla I was surprised to find that fear of intermarriage, and fear of young Jews turning away from Judaism drives much of the young adult programming in the Jewish world. This often has a Zionist agenda as well. We, and in particular, our ovaries are seen as instrumental to the future of Judaism. If this sounds creepy, it feels creepy too. It means that I am very wary of top down programming designed to appeal to young people.

And it’s tricky business. We have also both benefitted immensely from the money that goes toward this issue of Jewish Continuity. We have both been to Israel to free. And we have had our own projects funded - Jews in the Woods. Jewish Youth for Community Action.

So I don’t think it’s impossible to relate to young Jews without objectifying us. It’s just less common. The framework of Martin Buber’s I/Thou relationship is helpful here. There is a discernible difference between projects that are objectifying and projects that are empowering.

I believe the starting point must be a conversation between young Jews already in Kehilla. So, young Jews in Kehilla, please consider this an official invitation. If you do or do not relate to any of this, we would love to have this conversation with you.

I am excited about the idea of having a cohort of people my age in my synagogue. And as a young person still growing up in Kehilla I can testify about how wonderful it is to have strong connections across generations in this community.
I love who we are right now. I love us. And change is scary.

Kehilla is my family and my home, and like any family, it does not reflect all of who I am. There are other Jewish parts of me. Sometimes it feels great to keep them separate. Sometimes I yearn for more crossing over. Many of you might share a similar experience. Kehilla probably does not encompass all your Judaisms or reflect all your identities. It might be a compromise for you to be here today.
So, at least we’re in good company.

The way that we were invited to speak here today, I feel truly recognized. Kehilla has pretty much officially said to Talia and me-
We want to know who you are.     You might surprise us.      You might challenge us. 
You don’t have to be an expert.     We invite you to show up as your full selves.

I couldn’t ask for anything more.
I hope that all of us -from each generation- are able to experience this invitation to show up fully in Kehilla this year.